That
evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they
were sure that they knew just about everything.
Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told
to go to separate classrooms to take the exam. Each
shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.
As each sat down, they read the first question.
"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."
At this point, they both thought that this was going
to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with
ease.
Then, the test continued... "For 95 points, tell
me which tire it was."
Do
You Know Who I am?
It was the final examination for an introductory English
course at the local university. Like many such freshman
courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having
over 700 students in the class!
The
examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were
provided. The professor was very strict and told the
class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly
two hours would not be accepted and the student would
fail.
1/2
hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked
the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're
not going to have time to finish this," the professor
stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes
I will," replied the student. He then took a seat
and began writing.
After
two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the
students filed up and handed them in. All except the
late student, who continued writing.
1/2
hour later, the last student came up to the professor
who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class.
He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets
already there.
"No
you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
The
student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know
WHO I am?"
"No,
as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor
with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"DO
YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.
"No,
and I don't care." replied the professor with an
air of superiority.
"Good,"
replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of
completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked
out of the room.
Grading
Exams: The Inside Story
For
those returning to school, here is an inside look at
how professors grade their final exams:
Dept Of Statistics:
All grades are fitted to a normal curve.
Dept
Of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books,
close them and turn them in. The professor opens the
books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept
Of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept
Of Theology:
Grade is determined by God.
Dept
Of Philosophy:
What is a grade?
Law
School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they
should receive an A when they really deserve an F.
Dept
Of Mathematics:
Grades are variable.
Dept
Of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.
Music
Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening
to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and
- would be sharp and flat respectively). Tone-deaf students
fail.
Dept
Of Physical Education:
Everybody gets an A.
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“I
have been really impressed by what is being offered on the site.
I have particularly found the samples helpful and the tips on
grammar and stylization. They sure have helped me in bringing
my work up to the standard that my teachers want.” 
